The yearning for closeness and the forces that pull us away
This week I found myself up until 00:40 at night watching the Netflix series ‘Spinning out’. Now, I’m a morning person, and this is not my usual. As I was watching the series (and the late hour…) I noticed I couldn’t stop. What was it that drew me in?
The series is about a young man and a young woman. Both good looking and talented, professional ices-skaters, aiming at ice-skating/ dancing together. Throughout the series they yearn for closeness, yet their actions pull them away from each other. This goes on again and again. I knew I had to close the TV at a moment of closeness:). I felt uncomfortably romantic, but then, that symbolizes our primal yearning for closeness and the ongoing tragedy of not being able to actually create it in reality.
I, personally, made this my life journey and career. Just like in the series, couples that arrive for therapy are on the line of closeness and distance. And just like in the series, a moment of connection is magical. Connecting is what’s life’s about.
Being romantic is not enough. It’s about figuring out all these forces that pull us away from closeness, from intimacy. Once these are figured out and can actually be discussed and addressed, then romanticism can do the work. It is possible!
Feel free to contact me for details to schedule an online session.
~ Ronit Haase
Psychotherapist and couples therapist (EFT)